I’m mid-way through my online dating challenge and I have learned a few things.
First of all, it turns out that my previous disaster on Plenty of Fish could have been my fault. Apparently stating that you are looking to date but nothing serious is code for hooking up. Although I still do not believe single girls use that site but whatever, I have now upgraded:
I am looking for a relationship.
I really think there needs to be a middle-ground of hey if I meet someone and settle down that would be great but I’m not desperate to get married because my ovaries are shriveling up. Just a thought, I think it’s a nice middle ground. And with much encouragement from friends and strangers I am currently on OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, Match and Lavalife. Seriously are you happy people?
My friends are not.
Saturday night I met up with friends for drinks. B originally pushed me into online dating offering that a web site comparison would be interesting for readers. He had been dating but frustrated that some girls would engage in conversation but then disappear. So when I told him that I had spoken to a few people but then cancelled at the last minute because a nap was more appealing he was not happy.
He told me to get off online dating because guys like him were tired of girls like me.
But I protested no I really was up for the challenge. I would make more of an effort. But there would be more scolding, my friend J asked me how it was going. She was a pro with online dating and had done it for years before meeting her live-in boyfriend through friends. J knew how it worked and wanted to know how many dates I had been on.
I thought that was pretty respectable but she called me out on it. She pointed out that I could probably go out several times a week and I was not making an effort. But it’s not all my fault I swear, just look at some of the messages I am getting.
And then there are the UR sexy messages or the guy who wanted to know whether I would rather go to the moon for 10 minutes or travel around the world for five years on 5K a month. Oh and just yesterday someone who seemed normal mentioned he didn`t like a particular bar because there were too many coloured people so he just got drunk while there.
I am not the only one.
A friend at work who does quite a bit of online dating told me she once went out and her coworker recommended the milkshake with the chicken wrap and fries, she thought things were going well until the food came and he took half of it on her plate saying oh no honey you can`t eat all that! She put money down on the table and walked out the door.
Abby from The Jungle Princess lives in Las Vegas, which appears to be an even bigger challenge. While she states she has a day job so people don`t think she is a cocktail waitress she no longer says she is a blogger after a former date Google-stalked her and knew her life story. She has had many people lie about height, married status and one guy walked out on her during the middle of dinner because she made him realize that he was not ready for a relationship.
Sally from Unbrave Girl has the daunting task of dating in China.
Maybe I have it easy.
The two dates I had were totally normal. They were both nice guys, there was no spark but if I randomly see them sometime I`d be happy to say hi.
This is all to say perhaps I wasn`t giving this challenge the attention it deserved and I should take the remaining weeks to make a real effort.
Afterall, I just connected with someone a couple of days ago and I think they could be quite interesting.