So what does it feel like to be home? I’ve been back in Toronto less than a week and that’s the first question everyone ask.
It is also the most difficult to answer.
It’s a rollercoaster of emotions and it has been difficult at times. I didn’t expect it to be so hard to be home. I love being here but perhaps that’s the issue. I didn’t think I’d love it so much. I didn’t realize I would miss my friends, my city, my country.
But I do.
Not all has been great. It feels like I have only left home for a month but life continued on for everyone else.
The home I helped my best friend move into the night before I left, newborns are now toddlers, my ex had a serious relationship.
Life moved on without me.
And of course I knew it would. I’m not that self-centered or naive. But it made me start to wonder if the thing I was chasing was at home the entire time.
So what does this mean?
I don’t know. I wish I did. I do know that I can’t go back to my old life. While I never thought I’d want to be an entrepreneur I can’t go back to the office grind. But maybe it’s not all or nothing.
I’ve decided to stop numbering the days of travel at the beginning of my posts because this isn’t a trip anymore but a new lifestyle. I still don’t know how exactly how I am going to live it or fund it but that’s okay.
After the next while in Ontario I’ll be spending a month at home in Nova Scotia with my family and maybe that will shed some light. Maybe it won’t.
But I’ve only been home in Toronto a few days and I have learned one thing.
There’s no going back. Only forward.