I arrived with big hopes to discover the city but something that had been creeping up on me finally smacked me in the face.
I am exhausted.
I have been on the road for over a year and a half now and this nomadic lifestyle is really starting to wear on me. The weariness started to creep up slowly, after Jordan I started to feel tired, a bit irritable. But I thought it would all pass.
The last few days I have been sleeping for much of the day and night. I have no desire to go out and do or see anything.
And so while I spend time writing and writing about creating the life I want, making small steps toward change I have been slipping into unhappiness.
But when messaging The Ex (yes we still talk…sometimes) I realized something:
I don’t want to do this anymore.
And let me be clear it’s not that I want to go back to my old life. It no longer exists but I’m done with the constant travel.
The nomadic lifestyle is not for me, I loved it for a year and a half but now traveling is becoming a chore. I miss the wonder and awe. It disappeared somewhere along the line. And I think many of you realized it before I did.
The Ex put it simply, just because I chose to be nomadic doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind, and it doesn’t mean going back but finding something new.
So the past few days I have toyed with spending the winter in Spain, most of the European bloggers I know have a home and travel from there. And it all became so clear.
I’m going home.
I want to enjoy the rest of my Eurail pass and then go home. I’m going to look for contract work to see if I can keep a base I’m Toronto and travel between contracts.
I broke the news first with an interview on Married with Luggage and Dave from WhatsDaveDoing helped me better articulate what I want – a travel-centric life. I can still build a life I want and right now I want to be home.
It’s not my old life or the nomadic life but somewhere in between and it feels right for me.