Struggling in Seville

seville, spain
Seville, Spain

Landing in Madrid I wanted to get my Eurail Adventure started right away so I took the train directly to Seville, a city many of my friends from Pueblo Ingles recommended.

I arrived with big hopes to discover the city but something that had been creeping up on me finally smacked me in the face.

 

I am exhausted.

 

I have been on the road for over a year and a half now and this nomadic lifestyle is really starting to wear on me. The weariness started to creep up slowly, after Jordan I started to feel tired, a bit irritable. But I thought it would all pass.

seville mushroom

The last few days I have been sleeping for much of the day and night. I have no desire to go out and do or see anything.

And so while I spend time writing and writing about creating the life I want, making small steps toward change I have been slipping into unhappiness.

But when messaging The Ex (yes we still talk…sometimes) I realized something:

 

I don’t want to do this anymore.

 

And let me be clear it’s not that I want to go back to my old life. It no longer exists but I’m done with the constant travel.

The nomadic lifestyle is not for me, I loved it for a year and a half but now traveling is becoming a chore. I miss the wonder and awe. It disappeared somewhere along the line. And I think many of you realized it before I did.

The Ex put it simply, just because I chose to be nomadic doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind, and it doesn’t mean going back but finding something new.

So the past few days I have toyed with spending the winter in Spain, most of the European bloggers I know have a home and travel from there. And it all became so clear.

 

girl on train

 

I’m going home.

 

I want to enjoy the rest of my Eurail pass and then go home. I’m going to look for contract work to see if I can keep a base I’m Toronto and travel between contracts.

I broke the news first with an interview on Married with Luggage and Dave from WhatsDaveDoing helped me better articulate what I want – a travel-centric life. I can still build a life I want and right now I want to be home.

It’s not my old life or the nomadic life but somewhere in between and it feels right for me.

 

This post was made possible by the generosity of another company. If you are looking for affordable Spain holidays check out the link to determine great options while in Spain. I may have burned out on travel there but I will definitely be back.

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. says

    Ayngelina–I’m so happy.

    You’re right–I think your readers could tell that the nomadic life had begun to wear you down a bit. Finding happiness in life is about finding balance, and just like when you get on one of those old time doctor’s office type scales, you have to move one weight back and other forward before you get the correct measurement. If the analogy holds true, finding balance in life is about trying something new and, upon discovering that it doesn’t exactly work for you, finding elements of it that do appeal to you. You’ve done that and I applaud your honesty.
    Looking forward to reading your missives from Toronto.
    Marsha recently posted..11 Great Solo Travel Reads From 2011 (plus a bonus!)

    • Ayngelina says

      I thought the weariness would pass, just as it did in Colombia and Buenos Aires but I realized it wasn’t travel burnout it was realizing it wasn’t right for me anymore. Readers who questioned my happiness actually helped me realize if other people were noticing it maybe I was ignoring my own feelings.

  2. says

    Just as long as you don’t give up your love for pork products. Traveling beats you down. ESPECIALLY if you don’t have valets carrying your bags, a translator to smooth over all misunderstandings, an advance staff that arrives days before you do so that your arrival to a new city couldn’t go more smoothly, and a masseuse to work out all of the sore muscles from your latest trip…

    Basically, if you don’t have an unlimited budget, budget travel can beat you down.

    I’ve heard a couple of negative comments (in confidence) from a few different travel bloggers over the last year. You’ve rocked the travel blogosphere (sp?), but if you need to have a bed to go home to every night, then putting on the brakes is absolutely the right thing for you to do.

    You can still travel, rock the blogosphere, experience pork products in various time zones, but perhaps taking chunky breaks in between is what’s needed.

    Suerte Bacon!

    • Ayngelina says

      Chance you have always been so supportive and such a good friend. I really thought I’d settle in Buenos Aires, but then when I returned to Canada and realized I didn’t have to watch my back all the time the shine of BsAs wore off.

      But that doesn’t mean I won’t visit.

  3. says

    Thanks for this honest post, and I am sending so much support and warmth during this transition time! It can be really discombobulating, but if it helps, I went through a very similar decision process myself in 2010 in Spain, too, after a year of travel, and am so happy with how the decision to un-nomad-ize has opened up a great new chapter of life!

    What I’ve ended up doing is building a life for myself back in Boston (thus no longer being nomadic), but with a teaching job that is both fulfilling and full of vacations to travel in! With this set up, I have been able to get a steady paycheck, have a sweet apartment, get engaged… and still travel to China, Spain, the Bahamas, and (in a few months), Greece for good chunks of time!

    You are following your heart (and your exhaustion-meter) and doing the right thing! Rather than “giving up,” you are actually now taking all the skills and learning you gained over your amazing travels and applying them to an exciting new configuration.

    Keep us posted and be in touch if you want to discuss this any more! I’ve written 24 articles on this topic already, http://www.aroundtheworldl.com/category/logistics/home-after-travel/ and will likely write a whole lot more, as it really gets to the core of what humans want and need!

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks so much Lillie. I have to say your story is inspiring as it sounds ideal for me. I want all of those things too. Maybe it’s just now that I am ready for them.

  4. says

    I respect your honesty so much. Everyone travels differently, and the most important thing is to be honest with yourself and travel the way you want. I’ve never tried being a nomad, but I have a feeling it’s not my style. I like having a home base. Simple. I roll the way you’re looking to – I have a travel-centric life and love it! I plan to migrate a bit, but I’ll always have a place to call home, and that’s the way I like it. Doesn’t mean I don’t love reading about the nomad lifestyle, though! :) Another commenter said it’s all about balance – truly is. However you can keep your life balanced, do it!
    Lindsay recently posted..A Very Toronto Christmas Market

    • Ayngelina says

      I never aspired to be a nomad until I realized I couldn’t go back to my old life so I jumped in with both feet and blinders. It was great for a while but when it started becoming cumbersome I ignored the signs and kept going. The only positive note is that there is no doubt now that it is not right for me.

    • Ayngelina says

      I felt it at a year but kept going another 6 months so you are far ahead of me and my stubborn personality.

  5. says

    It could be that travel…has become your job. The thing you started travelling to escape from. The lifestyle you wanted to leave behind because you were overfamiliar with it, where the novelty value was dead and what was left was you, exhausted, doing things that you didn’t, couldn’t feel anymore.

    Paradise becomes hell when you’ve been there too long. And balance is all about the right amount of change and challenge, which leads to the feeling of not knowing what the day holds, which makes you want to *leap* out of bed.

    Step away, do other things, try stuff out, do things that scare you. Change everything, if need be. Because there’s nothing to prove by burning out on the road.

    That said, if you deciding not to travel as much in 2012 means you don’t get to have a drink with me, I’m going to kick your ass.
    Mikeachim recently posted..Fevered Mutterings: A Year In Review (Part 1)

    • Ayngelina says

      How is it that everyone knew what was going on with me but me?

      I’m definitely still traveling in 2012 so there will be drinks! Although you may be buying ;)

  6. says

    Totally do not blame you one bit. I got so burnt out on traveling – I did for 3 straight years – that I didn’t know where I belonged or who I was anymore.

    You’ll settle into the life that’s good for you and still be able to feed that wanderlust. And then if you decide to go back out on the road again like you have been, you’ll have a renewed sense of self and purpose.

    Just don’t get like I did and think that if you aren’t traveling you aren’t yourself. I let travel define me too much and it took a long time to realize that. I felt lost the most when I went back home.

    Totally applaud your honesty and wish you the best of luck!
    Jerri recently posted..Beautiful Thailand through Instagram

  7. says

    Travel is hard. Fun, but hard.

    We’ve been on the road 20 months and haven’t experienced any burnout because of the way we travel. Having your own space and ability to chill for a while is key to keeping it more fun than work.

    Good luck in finding your balance.

    Brian
    Brian recently posted..How to Become Fearless

    • Ayngelina says

      It was definitely easier for me in Latin America, I traveled really slow but things sped up a bit in Europe, maybe because I knew more about it and wanted to see all of it.

  8. says

    This is a perfectly great solution! Whatever makes you happy. Life is change. Be open to always walking paths that are different to what you wanted even just yesterday.

    I am looking forward to our adventures this year, but I am also looking forward to have a semi settled life once Kalyra is ready for at least first grade.

    there are different parts to life that bring different ways of living and are exciting in their own right.

    Do what works for you

  9. says

    I get it.

    Just sorry we didn’t get to meet up while you were here.

    Continuing on a chosen path after it no longer suits is bad news all round. Glad you found the strength to choose a new path. Good luck!

  10. says

    We recently returned back home to Australia and we can totally relate to wanting a base and travelling from there.

    We have been travelling for 2 years and the last 6 months were a killer for us. We found ourselves not appreciating the world around us and travel quite frankly became a chore.

    We decided it was time to go home, regroup and reevaluate what kind of life we want to create and that is one that is surrounded by a loving family. When you a nomadic this is not possible so we have decided to base ourselves at home in Australia and travel at least 3 times a year overseas. This way we will appreciate the places we travel to.

    Looking forward to reading about the next chapter of your life and very proud of you for not going back to your old life. Get out there and kick some ass!
    Anthony @ Positive World Travel recently posted..How To Get an Indian Henna Tattoo

    • Ayngelina says

      That is exactly how I felt, it was a chore getting to know each city and I was starting to resent the unfamiliarity. I wondered if it was different for couples, but I guess it can happen to anyone whether traveling with someone ot not.

  11. says

    Nothing wrong with not wanting to be constantly travelling. I prefer slow travel myself, having a base, somewhere regular to lay your head and living a life I couldn’t back home. If you’re moving to Toronto I may have to pay you a visit when I head to the East Coast next winter.

    • Ayngelina says

      There are so many great bloggers in Toronto and you really do need to be with a local to enjoy the city. Count me in as a tour guide.

  12. says

    Hello hun! I wish you the best in the next stage of your life! I may be just getting started on the blogging and I’ve not yet experienced living on the road for months on end, but I can see where you’re coming from. You’ve seen much of the world and had a lot of experience, but it’s also nice to be surrounded by the people you know well and to have some stability. As you say, a lot of bloggers keep one stable job and fit in a couple of big trips and some weekend breaks in their spare time. That way you can do both! I hope it really works out for you. Good luck and keep us all posted xx

    • Ayngelina says

      Meeting so many of the London and other European bloggers really opened my mind to the possibilities. If I can secure contract work it could change the way I live in Toronto.

    • Ayngelina says

      Well I had hit the wall a few times while traveling, first at 6 months in Colombia then at 12 months when I was in Chile which is why I rented an apartment in Buenos Aires. But this feels so much different. I was able to get beyond the other humps by slowing down but this feeling kept getting stronger and then one day I couldn’t ignore it.

  13. says

    I think it’s always important to remember that it’s not an either or choice. You be nomadic and travel constantly if that’s what you want. Or if you want to go home, slow down, and travel from there you can as well. We’re not all going to follow the same path, so as long your living a life that makes you happy then that’s all that matters.
    Alouise recently posted..Looking Back on 2011 and Looking Ahead to 2012

    • Ayngelina says

      It’s such an important thing to remember, I tend to think in absolutes and forget the middle is often the best place to be.

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks Kate, being in Europe really did help me come to this decision, including you making a base to call home and then traveling from there.

  14. says

    I completely understand and this was a place I have also reached. I have and never will stop traveling but establishing a solid home base, well, there’s something in having a place to return to when it’s time. I applaud your decision and know it cannot have been reached without some work. Good luck to you in 2012.
    Elena recently posted..New Year’s Wishes

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks Elena, I’m not giving up on other possibilities, maybe I’ll want to base myself somewhere else, after all Spain is lovely. But right now Toronto is where I think I need to be.

  15. says

    This has happened to me so many times but every time I settle I find more things to see and pick up and go. After my Africa trip I was exhausted which is the reason that I have settled here in Medellin Colombia. Im looking to start buying rental properties here and eventually make this a base but I wont be staying long. Its really one of the reasons that I travel the way I do where I rent a place out and then use that as a base.
    WanderingTrader recently posted..Beach Picture Frame: Anakao, Madagascar

    • Ayngelina says

      There is definitely a need to settle. In South America I traveled much slower, spending 3 months in each country and not seeing the whole thing. I had seriously considered making Buenos Aires my home for a long time but then crime started getting a bit worse and I realized I was tired of always being on the look out for someone who wanted to rob me.

  16. says

    To be honest, I don’t know how you’ve kept up the pace you have for so long. After ten months of living out of my luggage, I was desperate to have a home again. And since arriving in China, I can’t say I’ve really been all that inspired to travel very much. Travel is tiring. And as Mike Achim said up there it does become work.
    Kudos to you for making the decision that’s right for you. I look forward to reading your blog in 2012 no matter what you’re doing!
    Sally recently posted..5 Things I Learned After 10 Months of Living in China (with pictures!)

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks so much Sally. But you know I don’t know how you keep it up in China!

      I feel like it’s the right decision, at least for right now.

  17. says

    Ayngelina,

    Thank you for posting this.

    Sometimes I think there is a bit of fear on the part of the travel to admit when that “wanderlust” has turned into “I’ve wandered too much and now I’m exhausted.”

    It can be a scary thing to abandon a lifestyle you have grown so accustom to but this is definitely what I needed to read to understand my own state of mind.
    Sarah recently posted..The Time with Becoming a Cliché in Thailand: It’s Easier than you Think!

    • Ayngelina says

      There is definitely a sense of failure and fear that people will judge you for not being strong enough to tough it out. But I guess I realized it couldn’t be about what other people wanted but what I needed to do to be happy.

    • Ayngelina says

      I’m such a blabbermouth I’ll be writing about everything now, Toronto, the world, what I ate for lunch…

    • Ayngelina says

      You are wise to know that now. When I started the trip I always thought I would come home, but then realized I couldn’t go back to my old life and assumed my only option was to be on the road. I’m glad I did it to the point of burn out because I’m sure it’s not right for me either. The trick is finding something in the middle.

  18. says

    I have read a few posts in a similar vein to this recently, and I am pleased to hear that people feel the same way I do.

    I always thought that I would love travelling constantly: I thought that the freedom of just carrying everything I own in one bag and go where I like would be the ultimate freedom, but the truth is I feel more tied now than I did before! I always have to watch what money I am spending and luxury has become a thing of the past. I long for a hot shower with decent water pressure and don’t even get me started on how much I miss home cooking! All I ever eat is junk food, street food and pasta. It’s fine for a few months but now I’d rather not eat at all than eat the same old stuff!!

    I will not return to the UK – when I left there 5 years ago I knew it would be for the long haul – but I much prefer working overseas and travelling on my breaks than travelling full-time.

    I wish you all the best, I hope this is the balance you’ve been looking for!
    Runaway Brit recently posted..The Life of an International School Teacher

    • Ayngelina says

      I’m glad to hear others have been speaking out about this, I think people fantasize that everything will be perfect and they out there and are baffled that no one told them it’s not all puppies and rainbows.

      It’s going to take some time and a lot of trial but I feel like I have taken one big leap in the right direction.

  19. says

    This has always been what I have wanted. I knew that I was not cut out to be a backpacker. (What would I do with my crazy dog?!) but I wanted to keep travel in my life. I have to admit that sometimes I feel judged by that. As if my version of travel isn’t edgy enough, that I do not see enough, or that being an expat does not count as traveling. I know I just need to do what makes me happiest though, and I’m so glad you have figured out that changing your mind is perfectly fine.
    Rease recently posted..101 Reasons to Get Off Your Ass and Travel

    • Ayngelina says

      There is definitely judgement within the travel community of who is the edgiest traveler, who travels the cheapest/longest/riskiest etc. In some ways I had bought into feeling it was a failure that I couldn’t keep up with it but now I can look back and see it is so ridiculous.

      Oddly I only find this attitude from North Americans, all the European bloggers have a home but travel often. I don’t know why North Americans are always “all or nothing” about their lives.

  20. says

    I did the Eurorail route of waking up on a different city everyday. It was great in the first week and then it all gets old. I want to wake up on warm clean sheets with nice hot coffee and breakfast. I knew that I won’t last long on extended travel. Like everyone says, its everything in moderation. Good luck. I will still follow you on your next endeavor.

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks so much Mich, it’s been really wonderful that so many people have told me they’ll continue reading. I’m definitely continuing with the site.

  21. says

    This is so scarily like my own story! I spent the summer in Seville tying to learn a bit of Spanish. I went back for a week after doing an Inter Rail trip around Europe. I’d been travelling for a year non-stop. All the way through my Inter Rail pass I couldn’t stop thinking all I wanted to do was go home. I was tired of moving around every couple days. I got to Seville and kind of broke down. I was struggling. I didn’t do anything for a week. Eventually I booked a flight home, and it’s been so nice to be back.

    I had also just gone through a bad break-up, and being around my family back home was the only thing that has started to bring me out my slump. Maybe for you it’s the same to?

    I have definitely got the itchy travel feet again, but I have made a resolution to travel much slower this year, and try to go home more.

    Glad to hear you’re doing what’s best for you, and not feeling pressured into a purely nomadic existence.
    Jane recently posted..10 Travel Blogs To Watch In 2012

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks Jane, once I decided to go home I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted. I still plan to travel and to live life differently in Toronto but it’s where I think I should be.

  22. says

    Thanks for the mention Ayngelina! You’re doing the right thing for you at the moment and obviously enjoying it. Will you do it forever? Almost certainly not, but that’s just fine.

    The idea of doing any single thing for the rest of my life, whether it’s travelling all the time or staying in one place forever, has no appeal to me at all. I suspect it has none for you either.
    Dave recently posted..2012: building, travel and a question

    • Ayngelina says

      One of my greatest faults is that I can be so focused on something that I have blinders to everything else. I really need to be a bit more flexible, offering up change when needed.

  23. says

    I’ve stumbled across some travel blogs that promote the nomadic lifestyle so much, that they’ve made me feel like I must be constantly on the go if I’m going to travel at all. Being able to lead a nomadic lifestyle for years is amazing for some, but we all have our personal balance. It’s refreshing to hear someone be real and honest with themselves and with their readers. I’m the kind of person that needs a home base near friends and family. I feel that travel is even sweeter when you have a place to come home to. That’s just me though. I wish you the best of luck finding that “somewhere in between” that’s right for you!
    Dallas recently posted..Travel Resolutions for the New Year

    • Ayngelina says

      Because the nomadic lifestyle is challenging I think the community of nomadic bloggers tends to build it up as the ideal lifestyle – almost to help balance the challenges of it. I really did love it, probably for a year but then the lack of roots just started to wear on me.

    • Ayngelina says

      I really did lose the joy and once you lose that there is no point in traveling. I hope settling down can rekindle that feeling.

  24. says

    I predict after some time at home, you’ll get itchy feet again.
    You might want to try living and working in another country expat-style. That gives you a home base, an income and a chance to explore your new home.
    Best of luck with your “holiday at home”. I hope it’s every bit as fabulous as your last year has been.
    Barbara – The Dropout Diaries recently posted..Chiang Mai Bicycle Tour

    • Ayngelina says

      I had considered staying in Spain, despite the pesky Schengen rules. But in some ways I had lost the energy to make new friends, discovered how things worked and more importantly didn’t work. Toronto is big enough that I still have so much to discover but there is a bit of familiarity.

      But the itchy feet will definitely come, and hopefully I’ll have the money and will to take off again.

    • Ayngelina says

      Cal don’t worry this story is far from over. I’m going to continue to write and travel but I’ll also add in writing about my new life in Toronto.

      My overall goal was always to create a life that better suited what I wanted and that is the new challenge for me in Toronto. How to create something less structured but pays the bills and allows me to travel. It’s a big task.

  25. says

    Good for you, Ayngelina. I think you’re right that your dissatisfaction was starting to show a bit, and you certainly shouldn’t be unhappy just because you feel it’s what you’re “supposed” to be doing (isn’t that why you left your “old” life to begin with??).

    This sounds like a good move for you. I don’t think I could ever be a permanent nomad – I love to travel, but I also like having a homebase to come back to after the trip is over.
    Amanda recently posted..How to Have Fun in Las Vegas Without Gambling and Booze

    • Ayngelina says

      I know you are so right! I definitely felt pressure to be the poster girl for a nomadic lifestyle and I realized it was all ridiculous.

  26. Laura says

    I remember a sense of wonder from central and south America that hasn’t been as prevalent lately. Sounds like you really do need a break. Despite following so many blogs of awesome nomadic people I know that lifestyle isn’t for me. In fact, we plan on doing something more like what you said – have a home base but also get that flexibility to be able to travel more often than a few weeks out of a year. I really think that kind of life is more sustainable than being truly nomadic. Either way thanks for sharing such an honest post, and we”re looking forward to the great thing you’ll do in this next phase!

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks Laura. In so many ways I can be stubborn and because I had made the decision to be nomadic I was too focused to see I was no longer enjoying it. But now I just feel lucky that I still have so many options open.

  27. says

    There’s nothing wrong with a travel-centric life. This is what I’m aiming for anyway despite not having experienced a nomadic lifestyle – you’re lucky to do this. In a way, I kinda like this way of life since I would have a place and security by the name of ‘home’ but would also continue to enjoy travelling at the same time. Good luck with your chosen path!
    Amer @TendToTravel recently posted..Who says new landmarks are not attractive? Abu Dhabi

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks so much Amer, in some ways going to the extreme has helped me realize that somewhere in the middle is probably a better fit for me.

    • Ayngelina says

      I never anticipated having a problem with it, I’ve traveled quite a bit and always enjoyed that freedom. But I think after a while there was a sense of disconnectedness that started to eat at me. It was a very slow, creeping feeling that eventually just smacked me in the face.

  28. says

    I traveled a lot and didn’t really have a home base for much of my 20s, but now that I have a rewarding career that requires me to have a home, I think that a balance is a lovely thing. Some people refer to it as the roots and wings– roots at home (which provides you with friends, family, etc.) and wings to explore the world when you feel like it.

  29. says

    I don’t always comment but read along. I always appreciate your honesty and am glad you have come to a decision that feels right for you. Another commenter said it and I agree with them, I think it’s all about finding balance – and it looks like you’re on your way :)

    After volunteer in India for 10 months I’m just about to wrap up and head home (to Toronto!) 2 months early. I’ve landed a great job at home and while I’ve enjoyed my time here there are things I’ve learned about myself – I want to be home but have travel play a role in my life. I like the term you used “travel-centric”

    Maybe when I’m home and we’re both settled we can meet up – that would be nice! In the meantime, hoping 2012 brings you the balance you’re looking for :)

    • Ayngelina says

      Yes absolutely let’s meet up. There is also a monthly Toronto Travel Massive meet-up with some amazing Toronto bloggers.

      India has always been on my list but I’ll admit I find it intimidating so I’m interested to hear your stories.

  30. says

    I think that, like you, I’ve realized that I much more enjoy a “travel-centric” lifestyle rather than being on the road all the time. After only 6 weeks of travelling in Guatemala and Chile I was exhausted and ready to establish a base again. This is why I enjoy being an expat. I still have my “home base”, which is foreign but becomes the new normal, and travel all around to other foreign places in between. It also helps that I’m a teacher so I have a bunch of vacation time to fulfill my travel desires.

    • Ayngelina says

      I must admit I am lucky that I’m going back to Toronto, it is such a multicultural city that I feel like a lot of what I loved traveling, particularly learning other cultures through food, is still very much a possibility here.

      I do envy you for being a teacher, I just don’t have the patience or personality to be one.

  31. Eugenie says

    Just don’t stop writing ;-) I’m rooting for you, I really like reading about how you are finding your place in life, just as I (and I guess everybody else) i’m looking for mine. And I guess it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone.

    I think your blog, since long, has been about way more than just travel, but about conquering fears and being open to new experiences, and you can do this just as well from home as from on the road!

    • Ayngelina says

      Eugenie you have always been so supportive of the site and it really means so much to me.

      Even deciding to come back, I never once considered ending the blog. I have always felt like the travel aspect was the backdrop to a bigger journey. I plan to share all the best of Toronto, a city I have always loved, and also continue to share the journey of trying to build a life that works for me.

  32. says

    I was wondering what’s going on .. read some tweets about getting hired again, etc.

    Well, now it’s official.

    We admire travelers always being on the road – we are def. too old for that, so our 91 Days in one spot works for us. Even though our next stop Sri Lanka will be much much more travel heavy!

    Well, you are always welcome to visit :)

    Happy 2012 btw!!!!
    For 91 Days Travel Blog recently posted..Knights, Princesses and Brutality at the Puppet Show

    • Ayngelina says

      I have always admired your approach and in a lot of ways I think traveling with someone may help things. I started to feel really disconnected to people and having someone there would have definitely helped.

      However, nice to know you have opened the door to visit, you may regret that someday :)

  33. says

    We haven’t experienced the nomadic lifestyle before and don’t know if we ever will. Instead, we have a home from where we travel whenever the time and budget allows us to.

    Nevertheless, we have to agree with Dave and say that the idea of doing any single thing for the rest of our lives has no appeal to us either. We never know what tomorrow brings, and we might as well wake up one day and decide that we want to experience the nomadic lifestyle ourselves for a few months, years… who knows?!

    We feel that life is an uninterrupted series of experiences and the best thing for us to do is to learn from it as much as we can and make the decisions that we feel in our hearts are right. You did just that, so congratulations and good luck on your next adventures!
    Mary & Adi @ TravelToSun recently posted..Our Best Travel Photos of 2011

    • Ayngelina says

      It’s so funny how you…well I…can get wrapped up in something so simple to change but feel like it’s a monumental decision. But once I make it I look back and wondered why I was so stressed about it.

    • Ayngelina says

      That was exactly how I felt, plodding on… I am hoping some time in one place will give me time to think and gain perspective on what I want.

  34. says

    Congrats to you on a new direction in life. One of my favorite quotes is “Leap and the net will appear.” I take that to mean that you should take risks now and then. It’s where you can find the greatest rewards. Best wishes to you in 2012!

  35. says

    The grass always seems greener on the other side, it’s once you get there that you realize it’s the same grass. Traveling forever seems so romantic but the reality is it’s not easy at all and if your heart isn’t into it, why continue? You have to do what makes YOU happy not what other people expect from you.

    • Ayngelina says

      I have definitely learned that the differences are only on the exterior, every place really does have the same grass.

  36. says

    What an exciting decision! I can only imagine that it’s hard to find that your dream life is no longer what you want, but this next stage sounds like the perfect balance. Fingers crossed that plenty of work comes your way soon!
    Emily in Chile recently posted..Gearing up for 2012

    • Ayngelina says

      well don’t count me out for Chile, this could mean a lot more flexibility with travel and I still want to come down and see all of you.

  37. Cam says

    We struggled with the same decision last year. Our decision to “re-enter” the “normal” world was a good one and we haven’t looked back. The grass is always greener, so it’s good that you have acknowledged this and embraced the changes. The best part is that the traveling doesn’t have to stop. We now get that warm fuzzy feeling before trips, something we lost during our perpetual travels.
    Good luck! It only gets better once the decision is made (no more internal tennis matches in the brain!)
    Cam recently posted..19 Epic Adventures by Travel Bloggers in 2011

    • Ayngelina says

      I know and I cannot believe we have been on similar continents but never met up.

      Thank you for all your support, it’s really wonderful.

  38. says

    Oh life does send us for loops sometimes! But it sounds like you are listening to yourself which means you will be happy and successful! I am not sure the nomadic lifestyle would be for me either. I would love to spend at least 3 months traveling at some point but I know I couldn’t do it long term. Looking forward to reading about your next chapter.
    Debbie Beardsley recently posted..Travel:The Best of 2011

    • Ayngelina says

      Three months is a nice time. I think the next trip may be 2-4 weeks, just long enough that I can take a small bag.

  39. says

    Thanks for your honesty. I feel a bit vindicated now. I wrote this post motivated by exactly the way you feel. And got quite slated for it by a lot of travel bloggers. http://www.travelblather.com/2011/10/travel-blogging-pitfalls-problems.html
    There’s nothing wrong with working stuff out and changing things at all. I personally think having a base that you come back to makes you better able to get the perspective and context right when you do travel and write about it.
    People used to ask me ‘Hey you’re a travel writer where do you go on holiday’. I replied ‘A funky beach resort with lots of great people and cool shops and bars’. I was talking about my home town, Brighton, UK. For me… just hanging out doing nothing but catching up with friends… that was a holiday!
    Good luck!
    Jeremy
    Jeremy Head recently posted..Are Price Comparison Sites Killing The Travel Industry?

    • Ayngelina says

      I have never wanted to be a famous travel writer, author guidebooks or have my own travel show. No one ever reads this site because they want to know the 10 best things I did in London or how to get a bus from Buenos Aires to Mendoza, I’m not a journalist just a girl traveling. In fact I always felt like the heart of the post was never about travel, the countries were only the backdrop to a bigger journey of figuring out what the eff I want to do with my life.

      For that reason I’m still not burnt out on blogging I have so much to say about travel and life.

      But let me tell you our little travel blogger community can be vicious, if you show signs of dissonance they will eat you alive ;)

  40. says

    I’m glad to hear that you’re making the decision that feels right for you. No point in spending money and energy in something that you don’t love anymore. To be honest, I don’t know how people do constant travel for more than a few months at a time! I work full-time but take several 1-2 week vacations each year, plus a few smaller trips here and there, and it makes each trip feel so special since it’s not an everyday thing. I would love the chance to go for several months nonstop, but can’t imagine doing more than three months. I think it would get so tiring. So I admire those who are able to do it, and can see why you’re ready to slow down a bit. I don’t blame you :)
    Emily recently posted..A 2011 Wrap-Up, and Looking Forward to 2012!

    • Ayngelina says

      In South America I got into a groove, although I was staying in a city for 4-6 weeks at a time and had friends. But I just think some people are destined to be nomadic are others want roots. Now I know I’m a roots kinda girl.

  41. says

    Ayngelina, I real love the honesty of this post. I think the reality is that just because a certain decision or choice served us well at one point in our life doesn’t mean it will forever. It is part of our continued growth.

    I am sure there will be good things in your future. Best of luck!
    Jenna recently posted..New Years Eve in Paris

  42. Rowena says

    I admire the way you handle things. You know when to stop. Prior to my current FT job (in the US), I was on contracts and was travelling overseas in between. It got addicting again that I had to get out of my lucrative IT job, that burnt me out. But that’s another story.

    I took a paycut, and decided to work for an airline that gives me flight benefits, (I joined simply because I couldn’t ‘beat’ them) Now I have a bit of balance going on, I travel domestically once a month, and visit at least 3-4 countries a year. And every trip is always something to look forward to.

    I still dream of a nomadic life, or longing to live somewhere else, someday. In the meantime, I enjoy and continue to live a travel-centric life. Good luck on anything you put your energy into. Wish you nothing but the best.

    • Ayngelina says

      Working with an airline would be fantastic. In some ways I’m sure its easier for me to go back than others because I liked my city and my job I just felt pulled by something inexplicable. Maybe it was the break I needed so I could come back to Toronto fresh and do things differently.

  43. says

    Not a lot of people have the courage to admit what you have. Good for you! Perhaps knowing that you’ll be going home soon will put enough wind back in your sails that you can truly enjoy what time is left of this particular trip.
    Talon recently posted..The Year That Didn’t Suck

  44. says

    I think when you become a voice and face of nomadic travel and lifestyle (like you very much have become) people start to look at you and to you for that type of life always…. however, that can get bothersome. I like what Mike said- it became your job and it wasn’t fun anymore.

    Regroup, find your happy place again, and you’ll bounce back. Hopefully we can meet up somewhere along the road… maybe that will be in Toronto (heck, I’m okay with that, never been) or somewhere else. I’d love to see you again! Hugs from LA!!
    jade recently posted..What the heck is a Cenote?

  45. says

    All that matters is that you do what’s right for you! Literally. That’s all that matters. (Out of that flows the ability to then help other people, be a good citizen, not be a dickhead, etc etc etc. But if you’re not fulfilled first, nothing else will be right. And only you can decide what that is. Fulfillment. Props to you for following your inner voice and creating the best life for you Ayngelina!) I hope that even though you may not travel quite as much — I hope we still meet on the road once in a while :)
    Kirsten Alana recently posted..NYE, Art & Technology in Berlin: Part 2

  46. says

    Kudos to you for listening to your inner voice and doing what’s right for you.
    The nomadic lifestyle is exciting but I agree after awhile it wears off and you long to go back to a place you call ‘home.’
    Once you’ve recharged your batteries you’ll find that hunger and thirst for travel come back.
    I toyed with the idea of taking off for awhile but realise that I love my life in Edinburgh too much and while I enjoy my travels, I need a home and my friends here.
    I think if you were travelling with someone special then maybe, life on the road becomes easier to handle.
    Travelling is great when you can share with someone.
    I hope in 2012 our paths cross and we get the chance to hangout properly.
    You’re always invited to Edinburgh, anytime remember!
    Take care
    Kash

  47. says

    Good on you Ayngelina…A brave admission but a truthful one. It really doesn’t have to be ‘all or nothing’ but when you’re on the road constantly you kind of get caught up in it…and feel as though you should be on the go all of the time. It’s nice to leave your toothbrush in the same glass for a while :-). The work you have done on your blog is fantastic…you don’t have to be constantly on the move to keep up the blog. Your life will never be the same even when you do get home and you’ve opened up a world of opportunity for yourself already. I really wish you all the very best and you know if you ever get to Western Australia there’ll be a glass of wine waiting for you at my place…if I’m home :-) Enjoy the rest of your trip and remember…anywhere is just a plane ride away. x
    Sandy@Shots recently posted..2012 ::HAPPY NEW YEAR::

  48. Ashley says

    I love your story girl! Thank you for being so honest with all of your readers. I also thought the nomadic life was for me at one point, but have realized what I want is a “travel centric” life too. Traveling 3-4 months out of the year with purpose and having a beautiful space of my own to return to and spend times with loved ones + friends. There’s something about the vagabond that seems so romantic though. It’s hard not to get caught up in it. But at the end of the day, that’s what it is – romance…

  49. says

    So good. I’m still deciding what I want but I think I’ve known for a while that I don’t want to travel FOREVER. I want to keep traveling my whole life but I also want an apartment/house that I can decorate and more importantly a DOG.

    We’ll see for me, but I’m happy that you’ve decided what will make you happy. It feels good to know what you want doesn’t it?
    Annie recently posted..2012: New Year’s in Sydney, Australia

    • Ayngelina says

      It’s a good feeling but I think I had to push it to the limit to realize I didn’t want something so extreme.

      I would love a dog…

  50. says

    Great post Ayngelina, must have been a difficult decision. But traveling constantly is exhausting, but that’s the thing, there are other ways of having a travel-centric life. I just got back to London five days ago, after a year on the road. Now settling back to my expat life, so I am still being a nomad :)

    All the best for this new year!
    Jarmo recently posted..The Quest for the Puerto Princesa Underground River

  51. says

    I’ve only been on my RTW for about 3 1/2 months but it’s enough to show me that a nomadic lifestyle isn’t for me either. I like having a home and not living out of a backpack. I’m happy for you for changing your path and trying to figure out what works for you.

  52. says

    Late to the game as usual (I don’t know how all these bloggers keep up with all the other bloggers!!) ;)
    Saw a mention of this on The Road Forks and can relate to you just as I did to them. I quit TV & the Ex and traveled solo for 15 months straight starting in 2006. I came back to the US in 2008…traveled around and crashed with friends and fam, and then left again just because I ‘could’ and i feared tying myself down again with rent and bills (that meant I actually had to earn money!). But the next 6 mos…I too felt the slipping away of that ‘wonder and awe’. ‘Oh, there are the pyramids…ho-hum, okay…what’s next?’ {bad sign!}

    There are so many travel blogs out there today that didn’t exist when I started and it’s too easy to get caught up in that ‘label’ game: Nomad, location independent, traveler, blogger…blah blah blah! You are what YOU want to be!

    I finally did get an apt again in Chicago in 2009 and still center my life around travel, while picking up other freelance media work at the same time. Like you love Toronto, Chicago is home to me…and a place I love coming back to.

    Good for you!! AND…I hope to make it up to Toronto this year for some stories and visiting friends (that i met on the road of course!). I would LOVE to see you and get to know you more. :)
    Lisa | LLWorldTour recently posted..New York Eats: My Favorite NYC Restaurants

    • Ayngelina says

      Wow I had no idea you went through this too. It was a difficult post to write because I feared feedback from those who would think I had failed. But everyone has been so amazing sharing their own stories. So many that are more similar than I would have ever guessed.

      Thank you.

  53. says

    This was a lovely and honest post. You should be proud of your self-awareness! I am not constantly on the road but have still managed to do a ton of traveling. I take seasonal work for 5-6 months, then travel 2 months, then do it again. I also love having a home base, and it has worked out perfectly for me. I hope you can find the same balance and happiness. Best of luck in 2012!
    Susan recently posted..Why I’m Stoked For 2012

    • Ayngelina says

      That is something I would really like to do as well, take contracts for several months and then travel in between. Now I just need to figure out how to do that.

  54. Lisa says

    Ayngelina, You’re doing what’s right for your heart and life. Kudos to you. You know this is right and the next steps will unfold for you and you’ll create new adventures. I agree with the European bloggers a base is good, it gives you options and a place to rest.

  55. says

    I could never do what you’ve done–travel nonstop for a year and a half–nor do I think I’d want to (though I love following your adventures). I much prefer a job (and lifestyle) conducive to travel while having roots, a house, a dog, a husband and stuff, as materialistic as that may sound.

    Maybe you having a home base will mean we finally get to meet!
    Camels & Chocolate recently posted..Photo Friday: Phnom Penh, Cambodia

    • Ayngelina says

      I am not so sure that is materialistic at all, although I am also not sure I would have responded the same way 18 months ago. I am really starting to understand that the trip may not have been about finding a new life but about finding a different way to live it at home.

  56. says

    Good for you, A! Excited for this next chapter in your life. Traveling or the constant move is great but definitely is exhausting. Gotta do you, always. If your heart is not in it, you should definitely seek what fits you. Maybe not the old life, and maybe not completely new, but like you said, somewhere in between. Best of luck!
    Kieu ~ GQ trippin recently posted..RTW: G’s Packing List

  57. says

    Good on you. I went travelling in my mid 20s for almost 2 years and decided to go home because I met so many long term travellers who seemed to have lost purpose in life and had limited connections to home, family and friends, and I never wanted to be like them. At least in this day of internet and Skype it’s not so hard. I then embarked on a career, travelled when I could, and 3 years ago went away again for 6 months. I returned because my house/dogsitter was moving on, I can’t say I was ready to return, but I was really glad to be home once I got here. I’ve subsequently been on a few more trips, and at some stage will head off again on an extended one. Thank you very much for pointing out that I just might miss my base. It’s such an important thing to keep your sense of self, and for most people that is tied up around friends and family. Continuous travelling means you only have transient friendships, which can be soul destroying. Good luck, you’ll be travelling again before you know it!

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks Naomi, I think it’s easy to get caught up with it all, especially when in hostels everyone is trying to one-up each other in the ultimate backpacker contest of who travels the longest with the smallest backpack on the least amount of money. I found I was really pulling away from it all, and while solitude is good sometimes, being antisocial all the time is not.

      • says

        Well at least now you can see that that is such a crap attitude to have. All that one-upmanship like it’s a competition or something? You’ll come out of this so much stronger, with a better sense of who you are and what you want out of your travel, and screw all those people who travel on nothing just for the sake of it. My attitude is that I have a moral responsibility to contribute to the economy in the countries in which I travel, which means spending money (wisely).
        BTW, there probably were people at your hostels who weren’t like that but you kinda hung with the different crowd, and people like me sort of avoid those people.

        • Ayngelina says

          Yes it’s always easy to point out the douche bags in hostels and find the good people they are usually the quiet ones in a corner.

          I actually had a lot of luck in hostels in South America, and meeting locals through couchsurfing.

          It will be nice not to have a day where someone asks me how long I have been traveling.

    • Ayngelina says

      I am really settling into it, in fact it feels like there could be more opportunities for me because I’ll have more funds to travel so I won’t have to scrimp on everything. I’m a little tired of bargain basement travel, I think it’s time to graduate to the next level.

  58. says

    Just catching up on some reading as I’ve been away the past few weeks when I came across your post :)

    Over the years I’ve met numerous people who’ve all agreed on one thing when making a return home after sometime on the road. Especially true if returning to live with family.

    “Go back to your country, and travel it a little first before going home. If only for a week or two.”

    It’s makes a world of difference in more than one way.

    • Ayngelina says

      Well especially since my country is so big!

      After seeing the polar bears and beluga whales last summer it really did make me realize I need to spend more time traveling in my own country.

  59. says

    I’ve been through this before, so I definetely can relate. First of all, I should say that I am glad to see somebody writing about this – for a while there I thought I was alone and that what went through my head was quite strange. Now that we established the normalcy of it, I have to say that to this day the only thing I regret about having traveled so much is that I lost the excitement, that tingling feeling the night before my flight, and maybe mixed with just a tinge of fear of the unknown… and I still can’t get it back. Is it the same for you?

    • Ayngelina says

      I just posted today about a day in Turin just days after I made the decision. I started to find some of the joy back in travel.

      But I don’t ever think I will get back the fear/excitement of the unknown. I do hope I get the tingly feeling. But I am going to wait before the next trip and maybe do something different like a resort or a yoga retreat or something within Canada.

  60. says

    aww, I love your honesty here. Traveling and being away from loved ones definitely wear you down. What a wonderful life experience you have had! And it doesn’t have to end! All your travels have built your character, you are going home a new & changed person!!
    Enjoy Spain!!! xo

  61. says

    I had a eye-opening conversation with a Spanish friend of mine recently, and she said just this: That it’s perfectly okay to give something a try, even if it’s only to change your mind and turn back around, or head in another direction. Because nonetheless, you’ll take away great learning experiences and you’ll have done it. The curiosity, the itch to travel and wander, will have been scratched and you can now take it from here. You know the old cliché: it’s the journey that counts. ;)
    Michi recently posted..Reyes in Spain ♛

  62. WearItOut says

    I’ve been following several travel blogs for the past year and I’m so glad that finally, someone has spoken the truth about travel burnout. I’ve often wondered how people can just keep on traveling non-stop without getting tired of it all. I believe in moderation in all things – a fine balance is what I’m looking and planning for. My husband and I are in our mid-50s and can’t yet afford to stop work and travel on long trips. We take short trips 2-3 times a year and enjoy them. We’re waiting to retire first, then consolidate all our savings, sell our big house, and then do the RTW thing properly knowing we can afford it (but still budget style). Until we are financially dependent, we don’t want to risk giving it all up until we can afford to live on our savings/pensions. Everyone makes their own decisions about travel. You are brave enough to know what you want and follow your heart – thanks for being honest and best of luck to you.

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks so much. I am really looking forward to traveling like you, several times a year and really enjoying them – in a different way moving forward, perhaps a bit more luxury and to places that don’t necessarily fit in a backpackers budget.

  63. says

    Oh, hunni, there’s nothing wrong with wanting that.

    I think if I had to travel constantly I’d go crazy to. That’s why I’m a ‘slow traveller’ and spend a long time in each place, really soaking up the culture, before I move on. I crave adventure and exploration but I also enjoy a bit of stability.

    So many travellers have jobs that involve them travelling in between work. That would be perfect for you because it gives you exactly what you want.

    I’m proud of you for opening up to what you really want inside.
    Ceri recently posted..Caribbean Life

  64. says

    Good on you for being honest with yourself. I get irritable after about three months, so I completely understand. Travel is only worth it if we are able to wakeup every day prepared to value what we see — and frankly, I think you’ve done a remarkable job. Anytime you want to chat, you have me and whole community of people here who will help you figure out your next move!

    • Ayngelina says

      Thanks so much, it was really hard to make the decision but I do think it’s the right one. And if it isn’t, I can always do something different.

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