Runaway from Love

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So most of you know me as the girl who left a relationship to travel the world and once I wrote about how difficult it was because people seemed to think I possessed some extraordinary strength to do it when it was really one of the most excruciating things I had done.

It’s also the reason why I am so happy to share a guest post from Ant at Positive World Travel about breaking up to travel. While he is currently traveling with his fiance Elise, his story is complicated but so very reassuring with a happy ending.

Why do people travel?

I constantly ask myself this question and wonder what the answers would be from every given person on the road. Is it for a sense of adventure?

To explore something new? To learn and discover?

As travellers we all seek out new experiences which are so far removed from our own home.

There is also the idea that many go travelling to run away from their regular lives.

Travel acts as a form of escapism, and it wasn’t until I was recently reflecting on my first long term travel overseas several years ago, that I was one of those people.

My first overseas trip came about from a rather Lemony Snickets style of a ‘series-of-unfortunate-events’, which ultimately culminated in my departure.

The reason for me leaving? What else, but a girl?

Some Background

I had been with my girlfriend at the time for 2 years.

Our relationship had been rocky to say the least. For months on end we were going through the same routine of breaking up, then getting back together.

Then doing it all over again.

Finally, there was one last break up and I willed myself not to go back.

I couldn’t do it.

It was so hard and it truly felt like I had had my heart broken for the first time.

Even though I knew not getting back together with her was the right thing to do, I missed her terribly.

I ended up giving her the cold shoulder.

I dropped her completely out of my life. I didn’t want to see or speak to her.If I forgot about my ex then I thought things would be OK.

What made it even harder was she hung out in the same circle of friends as I did.

So I began to avoid anything social just so I wouldn’t bump into her.

Looking back on it now, it seems strange that she had such an impact on me.

I mean, in reality our relationship wasn’t the best, but I think I was more attached to the closeness of having someone around than actually having a real connection.

yoga

Working hard to forget

So, like any person does when trying to forget about an old relationship, I threw myself into work.

That only made things worse. I was at an average job as a chef at a restaurant I had no real passion for.

The long hours, mixed with the chaotic pace of the kitchen along with the constant thoughts about my ex in my head, made me completely miserable.

The friends I did see on occasion I but on a brave face, reassuring them that I was well and truly over her, but inside I was dying to know what she was up to and how she was.

After a few months of constant work and little social life I started to feel a bit better.

I thought less and less about my ex, but was still not doing anything extraordinary with my life.

From the outside looking in, my life seemed as normal as the next, but The Break Up had shook me up and I felt as though something was lacking in my life-but I didn’t know what.

It wasn’t until a busy Friday night at the restaurant that the answer finally revealed itself.

A man came up during service, saying he wanted offer me a job at another restaurant.

Trying to talk to him over the crashing pans and mountains of orders that were stacking up was impossible. So I said I would chat to him at the end of service.

The job sounded great. Head chef position at a small 60 seater restaurant. The location?

On the Greek islands.

I gasped when he told me it was in Greece, but my expression must have also given away how excited I was to be offered this job.

This was the opportunity I had been waiting for. What I need to kick me into gear. To forget about her and start afresh.

shirtless man on beach

Within a matter of weeks I had packed up my life, salvaged what money I had, farewelled family and friends and flew directly to the Greek Islands.

Living in the Mediterranean was a dream. The salty air and relaxed lifestyle. The parties. The women.

It all seemed like everything was going right. I had convinced myself that travelling and living overseas for a while was exactly what I needed to get over her well and proper.

It seemed however, that it didn’t matter if I was halfway across the world on a small island.

The Break Up seemed to follow me around.

Not only did I think about my ex even more than I did back at home, I was not enjoying myself nearly as much as I should have been.

I soon realised that maybe the reason why I couldn’t wrestle her free from my mind, was the fact that I had never really got the closure I had needed in the first place.

Once she broke up with me and I promised myself that was the last time, I dropped her out of my life so suddenly, I think it was too much of a shock to my system.

It was time to sort it out once and for all.

man sitting on log

Closure

I bought a phone card and decided I had to call her. I was so nervous to hear her voice across the lines all the way from Australia, but we chatted for hours about our relationship.

Why I just disappeared so suddenly after we broke up and really got down to the bottom of things. Even though on paper we seemed like the perfect couple, we really were not the right fit for each other.

As the conversation eventually ended and it really was the final goodbye, I felt the uneasiness that had been sitting in a knot in my stomach for so long start to fade away.

I don’t know why I hadn’t properly closed the doors in the first place when we did break up.

Maybe I was too scared that it really was going to be the real thing. I had somehow convinced myself that if I slid it all under the carpet and forgot about her and travel halfway across the world then everything would be OK.

Although, taking the job in the Mediterranean, did make me realise that I needed to call her and pluck up the courage to sort things out, I don’t know if travelling to avoid problems really was the best thing to do.

In hindsight, it really felt like I was just running way. Was I travelling for the wrong reasons? Is there a wrong reason to travel?

I don’t know.

What I do know, is that I am thankful for the working as a chef on the Greek Islands, as it opened my eyes up to a whole other world beyond my own creature comforts and existence.

couple hugging

And today

I am currently in a wonderfully, fantastic relationship-engaged and soon to be married, travelling the world with my fiancee.

Right now I couldn’t be happier, it was in my earlier phase of relationships that I tended to run away from things around me. Now I can share and enjoy my travels with my fiancee Elise.

Anthony is one half of the dynamic duo at Positive World Travel. He is travelling the world on an indefinite journey sharing his experiences through HD video, photos and articles. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter for more of their travel updates.

Join the Conversation

  1. I’ve got a story a little like this that I should write about. I think I’ve neglected writing about it, because my friends / family back home would read about it. Now could be the time though.

    Took me a long time to get that closure as well. Best wishes to you and Elise.

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      I have been reluctant to write about this, but I think that many people can relate to my story, so it must be told. There will be many people reading this back at home, but I am fine with sharing what I was feeling in that part of my life. You live and you learn.

  2. This is such a touching story and very close to my heart. Thanks for sharing it Ayngelina.

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      It is a pleasure to share it with you.

  3. Thank you for opening up and sharing this very personal story. I went through a similar situation and it tore me up until I could resolve things. Now I too am free, so very happy, and am with the man who loves me just for me. 🙂

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      It is a pleasure to share this story with you, as I feel that many can relate to the hardships I faced when trying to runaway from my ex. It is strange how we think that by just removing yourself from a situation that the problem will go away. I have learnt that it is much better to resolve your issues and then move on with your life. I am happy to hear that you are in a loving relationship now, and he is the just right for you 🙂

  4. May Macatugal says:

    wow amazing love story thanks for sharing this to us 🙂

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Glad you enjoyed my article.

  5. That is a very romantic travel story! I wish you guys all the best in the life journey together!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Thanks, I think you need to face your issues head on to find true love. Lucky for me I have now. 🙂

  6. Maria Alexandra @latinAbroad says:

    OK
    1. I LOVE bacon
    2. I’m eating bacon RIGHT NOW and was thinking about it all morning
    3. This post could not touch me deeper. I had to leave my fiancee back for a year while I took a great opportunity–a free ride to study Arabic fro a year at AUC in Egypt. Sadly, just after 4 months, he broke up with me. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to gone through, I still love him deeply, and probably one of the hardest “lessons” of life. You stop and always think “did I do the right thing? But all we have to do is look around and realize hey, I’m in the spot I was supposed to be, and if that person really loved me or was for me, they would have understood that and waited. True love goes beyond. If not, it could also be then that they loved you way too much and realized, hey, “you are happier without me.” Like that infamous Bible passage says: “Love is patient, love is kind […] It is not rude, it is not self-seeking […] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

    And about your post…”Even though on paper we seemed like the perfect couple, we really were not the right fit for each other.” Man, I know exactly what that is. Here I am, three years later…and I have *finally* understood that. Breakups are always hard, but def. some of the best life lessons and one (if not *the*) best way to get to know oneself

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      It is alway interesting to look at your relationships in retrospect and then realise that you definitely weren’t right for each other. Sometimes we get caught up in love and are to blind to see beyond anything else.

      Sounds like you have also had a hard times during your break up, and it is only cured by resolving those issues within yourself. Good to see you have moved on and ready to live a life of love again.

  7. A sweet story. I wish someone would come up to me and offer me a job like that! Ok, so I’m not a chef, but come on!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      I was at the right place at the right time I guess. You better start training to be a chef 😉

  8. Andi of My Beautiful Adventures says:

    Such an inspiring story that I think is true for a lot of us travelers. I also started traveling to get over a broken heart and met my husband on the road. Congrats on healing and meeting the love of your life!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Travel means a lot of things to different people. Travel can sometimes be used as a form of healing and escapism. But the reality is that unresolved issues will always creep back into your life and the best way is not to runaway but to deal with them straight away. Elise and I are so happy for you and your husband. Congratulations on him getting into the States 🙂 We wish you all the happiness.

  9. Raymond @ Man On The Lam says:

    See — it all worked out for the better! 🙂

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      It sure did, and I am extremely happy with the love of my life Elise!

  10. Jeremy Branham says:

    There is a bit of mystery to this story but I actually went on my first long term trip many years ago as a result of a break up. It was a fun trip, but emotional as I was dealing with many things while I was on this trip. I am not going to say it healed me but traveling was a great opportunity to get away and enjoy some great moments in my life.

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      LIkewise, I had some amazing experiences when I left and went overseas after the breakup. I had a wild time in the Greek Islands, yet there was still something missing and I was able to really enjoy myself. until these issues were resolved. But it did help being on the islands and surrounded by partying people that wanted to have good time and go out.

  11. Thomas | Jus Getaway says:

    Great story I think a lot of us are really afraid to let go and end up never moving on. Its seems as the closure you needed came from never actually ending something. In some cases you are so use to something you never realize that it is actually not a good fit. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      You sometimes get so used to doing the same thing everyday with the same person and you don’t realise that you aren’t really a good fit at all. Getting to comfortable can be a bad thing. It is always good to shake things up sometimes and remind yourself why you are with your partner and is it for the right reasons. Glad you enjoyed my article.

  12. I’m not one to talk of destiny, but ya know… kinda sounds like it…

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Yeah I guess, but I still do firmly believe that you create your own destiny and I just couldn’t go back again and keep living in that cycle.

  13. I think so many people can relate to this – whether it be a floundering relationship or something else not quite going right in life.

    I always say that these things all happen to prepare you for the future – and look how well it turned out in the end! Anthony and Elise are one of the sweetest couples I know.

    Thanks for sharing Ant and Ayngelina!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Hey Megs! I think we all have similar stories like mine and we all a some point have runaway from love to pursue other things. It sometimes take a big change in your life to realise someone is wrong for you and holding you back. It is also important to resolve all issues before trying to move on, or you will find yourself in the same position as I was in. Thanks for your kind words 🙂

  14. Shirlene from Idelish says:

    Great story and inspiring! My story is a bit different where distance and travel is the reason I broke up with my ex. It’s great to know that you’ve grown through this experience and road ahead is looking mighty fine for you!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Everything is looking up and I couldn’t be happier with my travelling companion, best friend and fiance Elise 🙂

  15. adventureswithben says:

    A scarf on the beach, love that look!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      ha ha ha! Its the best place to carry my sarong so my back doesn’t get burnt 😉

  16. The Travel Chica says:

    Thanks for sharing. It is hard to say if there are wrong reasons for traveling. Sometimes you just need the distance and a new environment to sort things out. If you realize you are “running away” from your problems, at least you realize it and take the next steps to deal with it.

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      It is true that there may not be a right or wrong reason to travel. Travel does give you that sense of freedom and the willingness to think that anything is possible. Which is the kind of mentality that helps you through a break up.

      I just think that I could of travelled for better circumstances, although it did help in healing and understanding what I was feeling during this time. I probably wouldn’t of changed my decision, but I do wish I would of faced the break up face on instead of running overseas.

  17. Caz Makepeace says:

    Great story Ant!So brave of you to share.
    It is always difficult at the time but so awesome later to look back at the events of our life with gratitude and to see how they eventually led us to a better place.
    I left London due to a terrible relationship. I had to go through the closure stage as well, but, boy did it bring a life to me that was a million times better!!
    Thank god for break ups hey!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      To be honest it was pretty hard to dig deep and write about something I haven’t even really spoken about to anyone. So many of us can relate to a similar story and like you have found their life partner from it. I think sometimes you need to go through a bit of pain to realise how good real love is. Glad to see that you are living a wonderful life with Craig, Kalyra and soon another beautiful child. It couldn’t of turned out any better for you!

  18. Eileen Ludwig says:

    Great story and emotions straight through to a nice happy ending.

  19. Theresa Torres says:

    Hi Anthony,
    What a lovely story! I love happy endings. I can also relate to what you’ve been through after a break up. What helped pull me through was having a new job, working hard and making new friends.
    How wonderful that you’ve been offered that job on the Greek islands. God really is wonderful. He takes away something but replaces it with something better.
    Best wishes to you and Elise!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Trying to keep your mind off your feelings is usually the best way to get over a break up. That is exactly what I did by flying overseas and as far away as possible. Did it help? Well, yes it did but I still had those underlying feeling that I hadn’t taken care of before leaving. I guess going to the Greek Islands did help me heal and move on, but I needed to make that decision for myself and initially I thought the move overseas would fix everything. I now know that all that was need so that I would eventually meet Elise, The world works in mysterious ways…

  20. As someone who broke up with a long-term college boyfriend in order to go live abroad, I completely understand the difficulty in taking such a huge leap. The first months of my abroad experience, though wonderful, were also filled with pain because I missed him so much (but I also knew that the break-up was the right thing to do). In the end, I went home for a short summer month and got my closure as well. When I returned to my life abroad, things were much clearer, and overall better. It was a wonderful thing to finally be able to truly move on. It sounds silly, but sometimes closure means everything. Happy travels and congrats on your engagement!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      When you break up with someone, you always want to try and move on as quick as possible. We never really think about dealing with our feelings and we tend to distract ourselves from thinking about what the break up really meant. Once you gain closure, the world is a much happy brighter place and you can move on much more easily.

      Good to see that you followed your dreams and didn’t let a relationship change your decision to go overseas. I am sure it had opened up many doors for you, and you have met many new and interesting people.

      I am glad that I have found Elise and we couldn’t be happier together.

  21. Thank you for sharing. You did what was right for you there and then, but I am so glad you got that closure, and were able to move on. So happily and profoundly. Maybe THAT’S why you were meant to travel. A process to help you get from there to here. Best of luck to you both!

  22. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

    Travel has encapsulated my life. When I am in one area for a period of time, I get itchy feet and want to get out and explore the world again. I live and breath travel, and I will always be a student of the world.

    The ex didn’t want the same things and didn’t have the passion to travel the world. Travel isn’t for everyone, but it important to be able to share your passions with your life partner.

    Travel did assist in me getting over the break up, but it was simply a conversation over the phone to gain real closure, that made be get over the break up fully.

    Thanks for your kind comments 🙂

  23. Micamyx|Senyorita says:

    Truly an inspiring story! To be honest, i don’t have any ‘running away from love’ story to share yet, but i am looking forward to finding love while on the road 😀

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Lets hope that you won’t need to have any runaway stories to tell. Hopefully you find the love of your life whilst travelling the world 😉

    2. Ayngelina Author says:

      ahh me too 😉

  24. Aww such touching and personal story Ayngelina.Thanks for sharing the story with your reader.

  25. I am so glad you were able to work through this and that traveling helped you. You look and sound very happy!

    1. Anthony @ Positive World Travel says:

      Yep very happy now with Elise and having a wonderful travelling adventure!

  26. Great post, wonderfully written. I feel like I’m a serial traveler, which in turns makes me a serial relationship breaker too. I’ve broken up with the last three of my serious relationships because my need and desire to travel far exceeded my ex’s. These decisions are definitely the hardest, but sometimes they are the defining factor of whether or not a relationship will work out. I don’t regret these breakups and I know my life is far better for choosing what I felt and continue to feel is best for me. And congratulations on finding someone who suits you more fully!

  27. Ava Apollo says:

    Thanks for posting this.

  28. Elle of Solo Female Nomad says:

    What a great post! It motivates alot of people to make that first step on deciding to travel. Its difficult to get up and go if you are in a relationship or in a steady job. This post makes people realise that it can really be life changing to set off into new pastures. Thanks for the inspiring post!

  29. My last failed relationship ended 8 years ago. It was a whirlwind romance, it was really exciting in the beginning. When we broke up, it was the single most excruciating thing that I had ever gone through at that time. It wasn’t a clean break–one day we were happy, and the next day he was calling it quits. I felt like a zombie for months, trying to get over him. It took me a year to completely get over him and move on.

    I don’t think we ever had proper closure, until 4 years later–the eve of my wedding. It was good for the both of us.

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