Day 280: Cuenca, Ecuador
You may notice that I’ve been unusually silent for the past five days. Despite my tendency to keep a regular blogging schedule I wrote the 2010 Review and then couldn’t put pen to paper. Writers block…bloggers block..whatever you want to call it.
I’ve been afraid to write.
Seems silly but there’s been a seed of an idea growing in my head and then it reached my heart. Somehow by not sharing it with you I feel like I’m lying to you – the people who know me best. I can’t write a post if I’m not completely honest so I wrote nothing. But I can’t keep delaying telling you the truth.
This is my confession.
I’m trying to find a way to travel indefinitely. I want to be location independent. After ten months of writing and traveling I’ve decided I can’t go back to my old job. I can’t go back to my old life. It’s not the right life for me.
There have been clues along the way that I had ignored: my deep attachment to the Latin culture, my need to cut the tie that made me want to come back, my anxiety that I would have to leave Latin American and this would all end.
I’m a different person now.
I’ve been scared to share it for fear of judgement. For fear of people telling me there’s no way I can make a living on the road. Fear that no one will want to hear what I have to write. Fear that I will fail.
But last night I had an amazing coaching session with Catherine Caine and I realized I have something to share with the world. If I don’t at least attempt to pursue this it will be my biggest regret.
So now I’ve publicly thrown my hat into the ring and everyone knows. I’m relieved and petrified that I’ve shone a spotlight on myself and hope I don’t fall on my face. I don’t know how I’ll fund this lifestyle. I hope it’s a combination of this blog, outside writing and some other work.
It’s all a dark unknown.