Spending time on the West Coast of Mexico has been amazing but also troubling.
The past few months in Toronto have been amazing but being in Mexico, especially on the dry cactus laden landscape I wonder if Toronto is right for me.
I am in limbo.
In just a week I feel like I’ve shed layers of worry and stress. I feel younger here. I have less need for things. I’m not thinking about online dating or stressing that my biological clock hasn’t started ticking and I’m running out of time.
Here I can be in the moment.
It’s weird but I feel a sense of comfort with Spanish being spoken around me, heading to cantinas for lunch. I like being a terrible salsa dancer or people being surprised and how good and horrible my Spanish is.
I didn’t realize how strongly I felt until I was away from it long enough to miss it.
But as much as I love it I feel drawn to home. There is a stability, familiarity and sense of routine that I really love. I have reconnected with my closest friends and made new ones.
I don’t know where I belong anymore. I’m not sure if I’ll ever know the right answer.
When I told a friend I started traveling because I was looking for something more he asked me what specifically I was looking for
Honestly I have no idea.